Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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