Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
MIDGETS
????
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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