I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
