You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?