Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!