Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.

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(847): I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever. http://tfl.nu/o6xg

Replies (31) Good night (629) Bad night (5288)
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(941): View more from Florida

I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"

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(941): I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is" http://tfl.nu/uvfs

Replies (13) Good night (5150) Bad night (746)
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(305): View more from Florida

we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze

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(305): we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze http://tfl.nu/vupv

Replies (14) Good night (5557) Bad night (958)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.

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(978): he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/v7b4

Replies (16) Good night (1530) Bad night (7399)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic

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(765): Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic http://tfl.nu/acyn

Replies (6) Good night (4948) Bad night (860)
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(207): View more from Maine

he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem

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(207): he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem http://tfl.nu/s9hf

Replies (7) Good night (1169) Bad night (2968)
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(407): View more from Florida

Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?

(912): View more from Georgia

Home?

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(407): Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus? (912): Home? http://tfl.nu/7r1y

Replies (2) Good night (2235) Bad night (813)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?

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(403): You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something? http://tfl.nu/hj44

Replies (17) Good night (4641) Bad night (1233)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.

(419): View more from Ohio

....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.

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(937): I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before. (419): ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return. http://tfl.nu/j7d7

Replies (21) Good night (2243) Bad night (644)
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(813): View more from Florida

I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan

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(813): I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan http://tfl.nu/4qu1

Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (430)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.

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(724): You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to. http://tfl.nu/ryed

Replies (2) Good night (713) Bad night (442)
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(517): View more from Michigan

No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf

(615): View more from Tennessee

Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!

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(517): No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf (615): Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?! http://tfl.nu/9d33

Replies (9) Good night (717) Bad night (1851)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.

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(678): I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings. http://tfl.nu/91o9

Replies (4) Good night (634) Bad night (369)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.

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(201): I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google. http://tfl.nu/votb

Replies (8) Good night (967) Bad night (246)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity

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(+44): Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity http://tfl.nu/iwon

Replies (0) Good night (242) Bad night (300)

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