i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"