hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize