so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
