I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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