I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
