i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
