scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
