i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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