You really coming over, don't trick.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
