I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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