Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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