god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize