I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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