I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
