Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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