That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
