my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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