i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Rumble strips road head = magical
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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