Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My room smells like vodka and shame
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
