is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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