Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
