You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
