imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
