Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
