idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
