She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
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He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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