508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
