Whoa Z and x make the same sound
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
