weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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