North Korea, Best Korea!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
