im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize