I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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