Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
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No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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