I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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