I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
