went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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