But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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