I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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