He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
