Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
