So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
They have beer where we have blood.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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