I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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