i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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