I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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