i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I will be naked everywhere
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
