Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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