I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
