wanna go halves on a baby?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
