Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize