he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
