Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
