Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
