dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
