She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had to cum in my sink.
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