so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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