I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
