he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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