i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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