You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
