you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm having to shit out rocks
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
