covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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