You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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