she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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